Get ready for an awesome birth control series of the basic, necessary facts for each method by Molly! She has just agreed to help me out, and she’s already making the most useful, interesting posts! I’m so lucky to have her.
If you think about it Ursula was actually really nice because she only promised Ariel legs, and she gave her really nice legs that matched her body type and skin color when she could have just as easily given her goat legs
Independent packaging project for perishable goods:
Is it reasonable that it takes several years for a milk carton to decompose naturally, when the milk goes sour after a week? This Too Shall Pass is a series of food packaging were the packaging has the same short life-span as the foods they contain. The package and its content is working in symbiosis.
Smoothie package Gel of the agar agar seaweed and water are the only components used to make this package. To open it you pick the top. The package will wither at the same speed as its content. It is made for drinks that have a short life span and needs to be refrigerated, fresh juice, smoothies and cream for example.
Rice Package Package made of biodegradable beeswax. To open it you peel it like a fruit. The package is designed to contain dry goods, for example grains and rice.
Oil package A package made of caramelized sugar, coated with wax. To open it you crack it like an egg. When the material is cracked the wax do no longer protect the sugar and the package melts when it comes in contact with water. This package is made for oil-based food.
In October of 2012, I was enrolled in one of my first serious animation classes, with a professor who I rather admired. I admired him so much, in fact, that I caught him outside of class time and asked him to review a few of my personal character designs. I…
Male survivors of sexual assault talk about how you can be a supportive ally during the healing process.
The following story features interviews and material that address sexual violence and its effect on victims.
It’s highly likely that you know a man who has endured sexual violence. But you probably don’t know it yet, and might never know.
One in 6 American men will encounter sexual abuse at some point in their lives. According toMaleSurvivor, a nonprofit that helps male survivors of sexual assault heal, after a man is raped, he doesn’t tell anyone for, on average, 20 years. When he finally does, his courage is often met with derision, confusion, dismissal and even disbelief.
That makes it all the more important for people to understand how they can support of male survivors, if and when they decide to share their story.
When men share their stories of enduring sexual violence and rape, they are likely to hear remarks such as, “That can’t happen to a man.” These reactions, often rooted in ignorance rather than malice, contribute to doubt, shame, revictimization and depression. They often impede the survivor from seeking the much-needed professional help integral to the healing process.
In order to truly understand how to be supportive, one should search no further than the voices of men who’ve endured such painful, dehumanizing experiences.
Mic spoke with male survivors of sexual assault to solicit their recommendations for how friends and family members of victims can be supportive allies in the healing process. Their stories are multidimensional. They include assaults perpetrated by people from all walks of life, including men, women, strangers, family members, priests, friends and teachers. Some were assaulted as children, others as adults. They are sharing their stories in order to create a more compassionate and understanding climate for male survivors of sexual violence.
Image Credit: Associated Press
Believing without blaming.
It’s crucial to recognize that many of the things commonly said to male sexual assault survivors are things that we should probably never say.
Charlie, 66, from Boston, said victim blaming, accidental or otherwise, commonly crops up for male survivors.
"Were you drunk? Were you on drugs? Were you flirting with her the night before?" are some of the irrelevant questions that may shift the accountability away from the perpetrator. Expressing disbelief may be an act of sympathy, but this common reaction makes disclosure particularly difficult for survivors. It can even belittle what they’ve experienced.
Jeff, 51, from Indiana, told Mic via email that some people have refused to believe what happened and respond with a blunt: “No you weren’t.” Jeff was told that the priestwho sexually assaulted him “would never do that. He’s a good man, and a priest too.”
In some cases, the perpetrator is not someone who you would expect. It could even be someone you respect, which could make it difficult to listen to the survivor’s account of what happened.
Don’t question the victim’s sexuality.
Some men get questions about their sexuality. Gregg, 50, from Michigan, said he’s been asked about his sexual orientation, asked whether the perpetrator was a woman or a man and if his experience with sexual violence makes him attracted to both sexes. These questions are all irrelevant. A man’s sexual orientation does not invite assault, nor does the assault alter his sexual orientation.
And for the men who were assaulted by women, some of them are told that they should be grateful. Jarrod, 47, from Oklahoma, said guys often respond, “Man, I wish that I had an older woman to teach me about sex when I was that age.” But the “hot for teacher” trope, entrenched in pop culture through references as Van Halen’s hit “Hot for Teacher,” inaccurately regards the incident as “sex” when it indeed was rape, ignoring the emotional trauma that often results from an adult woman taking advantage of an adolescent male.
Throw out stereotypes.
Perhaps one of the most troubling reactions, especially within broader conversations about a culture that often falters on issues of sexual violence, is when some survivors are told that men can’t be raped, or that sexual assault is a “woman’s issue.”
Chris Anderson, executive director for MaleSurvivor, told Mic via email that many responses to his story of survival have included statements like “Stop trying to make this about you,” and “A real man would have defended himself.” But these reactions only work to ensure that rape of men remains a silent epidemic, preventing many survivors from being comfortable enough to disclose what happened to them.
While many common reactions to male sexual assault survivors seem like appropriate responses to a devastating revelation, many of them are, instead, counterproductive.
Let him tell you his way.
Byron, 56, from Florida, said that just because he’s comfortable telling that story does not mean he’s comfortable answering a lot of questions about it.
"I’m comfortable telling people what I’m prepared to disclose, but not to relive the details of the experience," he said. When the person is ready to tell you, Byron said, the details will emerge.
Even prematurely affixing labels to men who share their stories isn’t the best idea, according to some survivors.
Peter Pollard, director of communications and professional relations for 1in6, an organization supporting male sexual violence survivors, said via email that it’s important to avoid labels, even if they seem validating.
"Many men may not be ready to identify as a ‘victim,’ a ‘survivor,’ or someone who has experienced trauma," Pollard said, adding that it’s best to let the person define their experience and their story in the way that they feel most comfortable.
Emphasizing active listening and empathy.
Even though it’s important to allow survivors to tell their experience in a way that works best for them, hearing it can put the listener in a potentially powerful position to help them on the path to recovery.
"Believing someone validates the pain they are carrying, and lets them know they are not alone," Anderson said, a sentiment echoed by other survivors who spoke with Mic.
Through active listening, survivors are positioned to feel the compassion and empathy that they desire and very much need from supportive friends and family members.
Ed, 38, from North Carolina, said one of the most positive responses he ever heard was simply, “I can’t understand what you are going through, because I never have, but I will be there and support you as you go through.” But, to be clear, another survivor added that even if you actually have experienced something similar, everybody’s story is different and it’s impossible to understand exactly what the survivor went through.
While actively listening and being compassionate is an exercise of empathy, it’s helpful to provide survivors with the resources and information to seek professional help. No one should force a survivor to seek treatment, however, as everyone’s pathway to recovery is unique and should be tailored to their individual needs.
So if a male survivor approaches you with their story, listen to him. Don’t grill him, don’t blame him and definitely don’t berate him. Offer your support only if you are genuinely prepared to be an active part of what will be a difficult, uphill healing process.
Hopefully, with the care and understanding of people in their support system, he will come to recognize that what happened to him was not his fault, that he’s not alone and that there is hope for recovery.
If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual assault and is male-identified, below are resources for referral.
And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.